


Weird is normal

by killerweasel



Series: The Man with Two Brains [4]
Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Gen, crack!fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-11-18
Updated: 2012-11-18
Packaged: 2017-11-19 00:46:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 806
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/567155
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/killerweasel/pseuds/killerweasel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Just when John thinks his life can’t get any odder, something like this happens</p>
            </blockquote>





	Weird is normal

**Author's Note:**

  * Translation into Русский available: [Ненормальное нормально](https://archiveofourown.org/works/3258908) by [WTF_MOSK](https://archiveofourown.org/users/WTF_MOSK/pseuds/WTF_MOSK)



Title: Weird is normal  
Fandom: _Sherlock_  
Characters: John Watson, Sherlock Holmes, Sebastian Moran, Jim Moriarty  
Word Count: 776  
Rating: PG  
A/N: AU after _A Study in Pink_ , crack!fic

“Excuse me? Are you John Watson?”

John shifted his keys around in his hand so they were sticking out from between his fingers. He didn’t recognize the voice and it was always better to be safe than sorry. He turned around slowly, keeping his back near the door. John’s eyes widened when he realized exactly who was standing in front of him. According to both Sherlock and Mycroft, Sebastian Moran was Moriarty’s right hand. The man was clutching a large pet carrier against his chest. John could hear something moving around in it. The scrabbling noises made him very uneasy. “I think you know exactly who I am, Mr. Moran.”

“I need you to take him.” Sebastian held the case out towards John. “He isn’t safe with me right now. Everything’s gone horribly pear-shaped since...” He shook his head. “I’ll let him explain. Just take him and get inside. I’ll contact you when I have things under control again.”

The noise from the carrier intensified. John could see the sides of it beginning to bulge out. “I really don’t want whatever is in that carrier. Take it back with you.”

“Mycroft Holmes told me to bring him to you.”

John dropped his keys. “What did you say?”

“Mycroft sent me. He said you had experience with this sort of thing.” Sebastian took a couple of steps forward and shoved the carrier at John. John had to grab it to prevent it from falling to the ground. “I have to go. I’ll be in touch.” He turned on his heel and took off down the street, leaving John staring at the carrier.

“Just when I think my life can’t get any odder, something like this happens.” John sighed, picked his keys off the ground, and headed inside.

Whatever was in the carrier wanted to be set free. John carefully set it down on the floor. He could hear Sherlock working on one of his experiments in the kitchen. John fiddled with the latch for a moment before he got the carrier door open. Then he stepped back to see what was going to come out.

He gasped as a rather familiar-looking robotic leg slipped free. A second leg was soon joined by a third and the rest of the robot soon followed. The liquid surrounding the brain inside of the jar balanced on the robotic body was a pale green. The robotic portions looked slightly more advanced than what Sherlock had (John was fairly certain this fact would send Sherlock into another sulk), and it was equipped with arms and hands.

“Sebastian said you’d explain what happened.” John reached out slowly and pressed the button to turn the vocal part of the robot on. “How’d you get to be a brain in a jar, Moriarty?”

Moriarty wiggled back and forth as he clapped his hands. “As we’re going to be flatmates, you can call me, Jim. I would have thought you’d be a little more freaked out about this, Johnny Boy.”

“Don’t call me that.” John glanced towards the kitchen. Sherlock was watching them from the doorway. “Which thing is supposed to freak me out? Is it the part where you’re a brain in a jar or the part where Mycroft sent you here?” He laughed. “Have you seen Sherlock lately? The brain bit doesn’t bother me. I think you should have gone with another color though. That’s not the greatest shade of green.”

“I didn’t exactly get to pick.” Jim turned to get a better look at Sherlock. “You heard about the ‘gas leak’ in a warehouse last week, right? It was a bomb from one of my rivals. One of my new goons let the guy in without searching him properly. The next thing I knew, there was a massive explosion and I was pinned under cement. I couldn’t feel anything from my chest down.”

“Mycroft’s people found you, didn’t they?” Sherlock wandered over for a better look. “In exchange for information about your empire, he had them make you like me because you’re worth more to him alive than dead.” He leaned in closer. “He’s more advanced than I am, John. Mycroft is going to hear about this.”

Jim laughed. “Oh, this is going to be so much fun.”

‘Fun’ wasn’t exactly the word John was thinking. Living with one genius had been bad enough. He made a mental note to lock his bedroom door and push something heavy against it to not be bothered by curious madmen in the middle of the night. With a sigh, he got up and went to make some tea. Everything always seemed so much better with tea.


End file.
